Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
