Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
