Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
