u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
