Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
