This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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