You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
