my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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