we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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