im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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