we're blogging at a bar
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
