PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
