She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
