Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
