Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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