i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
