I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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