Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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