You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
