If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
