What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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