Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
