her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
