So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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