He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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