If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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