i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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