I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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