Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
