I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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