Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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