doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
