Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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