I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
