I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
