i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
