I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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