I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
stop calling my apartment porn island.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
