i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
