if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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