Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
