now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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