I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
