YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
