Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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