I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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