Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
