I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
