So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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