WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
my poor anus
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
